Attachment Parenting Philosophy Says Sleeping With Your Children Is Normal

Attachment parenting (AP) is a philosophy that basically means: the closer you keep your children to you, you provide a security, a centre. When children grow up, they are very compassionate, loving human beings. Parts of this style include extended breastfeeding, a safe sleep environment (close to parents) and baby-wearing and balance (martyrdom is not a requirement). The tenet of AP is that by meeting your baby’s needs, the child feels secure in their world.
One can practice AP  while working. One can also practice AP while bottle feeding (dads don’t nurse). What matters most is meeting your baby’s needs and bonding. A newborn, a child, has basic needs. They need to eat (as humans, meant to drink Mamma’s milk), they need to poop/pee, they need to sleep, and they need to feel loved. Babies feel love by contact and closeness.

Hubby and I said that our babies would never sleep in our bed. From 6-9 months, my eldest and I barely slept. He woke up often to nurse, and with the stringent rules the nurses gave me at the hospital about nursing (rules which I now don’t agree), I was sleeping maybe 40 minutes between nursing sessions. In desperation, I brought him into our bed and ‘hid’ him there until he was around a year old. When Jeff finally discovered him, he said, “That’s why you have been so much nicer lately?” “Yes, because I could finally sleep!”

[The Big Bang Theory’s Mayim Bialik says attachment parenting is “a style of parenting that basically harkens to the way primates parent — things like natural birth, breast feeding, sleeping safely near your child, holding your child. ” CP]

I should say that the Canadian Pediatric Society says not to sleep with your child. But, there has been research the past 6 years that clearly shows that if certain precautions are in place (no smoking, drinking or drugs that put you into a deep sleep, never on a couch, and no pillows/blankets around baby’s face), sleeping with a parent is safe. Most babies who die sleeping with their parent had at LEAST one of those risk factors, if not more. A great website that will give a fully informed choice is (http://www.isisonline.org.uk/). Sleeping with your children is a contentious topic in western culture, but quite normal overseas.

I was a full time midwifery student when my baby girl (last of 4 children) was 7 months. I still was an AP’er. We both slept better at night. She stayed connected to me even though I was gone during the day or days. Of my 4 children (now ranging from 8-16), none have been bullies. They all left our bed. They all stopped nursing when we both chose. It worked for us.

Baby-wearing is AWESOME in a mall. Strangers do not enter your private space to look at your child, as they would if your child was in a stroller. They see the world from the safety of mom or dad’s arms. This type of parenting may not work for everyone. No judgement. Like breastfeeding, the choice is with the parent, not society. My children are very resilient and loving human beings. For the Silo, Stephanie MacDonald.