Anyone who’s been caught at a wedding reception or a cocktail party discussing recent changes in the weather knows that these situations can quickly go from bad to worse and that making small talk isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Conversations with strangers can sometimes be stilted and uncomfortable, often resulting in a mad dash for the door as soon as is socially acceptable, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
“Small talk is an art,” says Small Talk Vineyards Owner, Hank Hunse. “It isn’t a skill that people are born with, but it can be mastered. Small talk is the starting point of all relationships and whether you are at a friend’s wine tasting party or a networking event it is an important starting point for everyone.”
Small Talk Vineyards, located in Niagara-on-the-Lake, knows all about the art of good conversation and the winery’s staff have become experts at small talk.
“A big part of our business is engaging our visitors in conversation,” said Hunse. “With hundreds of people visiting the winery each season, we have had to learn how to keep our guests engaged in conversation while ensuring they feel comfortable.”
To help us conquer our jitters of awkward meetings and functions, Small Talk Vineyards has compiled a list of five tips to mastering the art of small talk:
Remember Names
Introductions tend pass in a blur. Names are forgotten just as quickly as the hors d’oeuvres disappear, but make an effort to slow down and stay present. Repeat the person’s name in your head a few times and if you forget a name, discreetly ask a third party for help. Remembering someone’s name goes a long way and they are more likely to approach you at future gatherings.
Establish Eye Contact
This may sound like a no-brainer, but in uncomfortable situations people tend to avoid eye contact. Casual eye contact and a warm, friendly smile demonstrate your interest and desire to communicate. Eye contact for five to ten seconds indicates curiosity and is generally considered friendly. Make an effort to keep your body language open and relaxed – you’ll send out confident and friendly signals that will draw people to you
Discuss the Setting
Finding a topic of discussion after introductions is the hardest part of small talk. By commenting on the location of the event — how long the line is for drinks or floral arrangements — you are creating common ground. For example, if we sense that someone is uncomfortable during a wine tasting, we often comment on the bright paint colours that decorate the winery to find common ground.
Have Fun!
It’s important to remember that you aren’t alone. There are others in the room feeling just as uncomfortable as you, so stop hiding behind your glass of wine and enjoy yourself! Allow yourself to be curious and ask questions, you never know who you might meet.
Make a Clean Escape
When your conversation starts to draw to a close, take the opportunity to make a natural exit. Using phrases such as “I need to grab another drink” or “I need to say hello to a friend who just arrived” allows you to make a clean exit. Make sure to end the conversation with something like: “I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and I hope to talk to you again.” This keeps the lines of communication open for another meeting.
To learn more about Small Talk Vineyards please visit www.smalltalkvineyards.com. Follow Small Talk on Twitter @SmallTalkWines and like it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/smalltalkwinery
About Small Talk Vineyards:
Small Talk Vineyards is an innovative, boutique, small-production VQA winery located in Niagara-on-the-Lake. The estate vineyard is family run and has been in operation since 1955. Small Talk’s labels are about attending dinner parties and engaging in conversation, the front label in the “Speech Bubble” is what we say out loud during these gatherings and the back label, the “thought bubble” expresses what we’re thinking. Small Talk Vineyards features bold, fresh VQA wines that expose the dramatic gap between what you say … and what you really think!
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